Happy 9th Birthday!

Just an hour left of your special day! You are away on your school overnight and I was sitting here in the silence, thinking of you, and  hoping that your birthday was special in some way! I hope you are having a fab time at Wahsega, and that you guys are learning a lot! I can't wait until you return tomorrow, with all the fun filled stories I know you will be dying to tell me.

I can't believe that my little girl is actually turning nine. It has been such a pleasure to watch you grow into the amazing child that you are. So loving, caring and excepting of others and the world around you. You are a special soul. Don't ever let anyone ever change that about you. You are such a bright and talented young lady. You are filled with such a passion and the joy of learning and experiencing new adventures.

You are a blast to be around, hang out with. Even though we have those mother daughter moments where you are testing the boundaries, I always love you with all of my heart.

I am so happy and proud that you C, are my daughter. I could have wished for a better kid. I love you so dearly and I am so proud of you. Never forget that!

Your positive light and good heart I am positive will bring you happiness and good things.

So Happy Birthday! Turning nine I am sure will bring a whole new year of discoveries for you, and I am excited to see what the year has in store for you.

All my love once again,

Your Mama!

Sunday Scribblings ~ #365 Wake Up

Wake Up

 Sometimes, I just want to shout at you

 "Wake Up"

 or to be honest in a more direct

 and not so nice way...

 "Wake the Fuck Up.

 The imaginary world you live in,

 is crumbling fast around you

 and you are not remotely aware.


 As you yourself have said;

 you wake up each day trying your best to move on,

 to find a new way to relate to people,

to life and the world.

 But you still follow the same patterns, make the same mistakes,

speak the same excuses, and blame every one else,

when things don't go exactly the way you think they are suppose to.


 So, I say it once again, nicely,

"Wake Up".

Before you find yourself completely alone in life and the world,

with no chance of recovering,

being loved, or ever truly loving again.

 ~Lisa @2013

Sunday Scribblings ~#364 Apology

Initially, I was stumped by this prompt because I had lot's of topics that crossed my mind when it came to the topic of apology. Since I had not been to Megg's blog in a long while, I decided to check it out before I wrote and wham, her last entry resonated with me so much.I knew in a second what apology topic I wanted to write about. This post by Megg filled me with such inspiration. I too have a lot of books on my many bookshelves that I have not read. I am so guilty of buying books without having even read what is currently on my shelf. Or just as guilty of putting on hold, a dozen or so more books from the library and still the unread books sit on my shelf, unread and neglected. What a great way to apologize to all those books waiting to be read by counting them, and giving them their first acknowledgment that you remember they are still there. Then finally doing them justice by finishing or reading them for the first time and actually getting through them, once and for all. I was fascinated and think that the universe was calling out to Megg to create her own "Body, Mind, and Spirit University", just for the shear fact that she had exactly 108 books that turned out was symbolic of a sacred number. Perhaps the the books were calling out to her as well. Wanting to be finished or started. I found her post almost a calling out to me as well, to apologize to my neglecting bookshelves. So much so, I am following suit, counting books and starting to read them page-by-page and creating my own spiritual, and knowledge learning as well as enjoyable experience. Check out other Sunday Scribblings here.

Happy Fourth Of July

Happy Fourth of July! Today is the independence day of my wonderful county. This is a country, where when you see what you want and work hard at it you can achieve great things!I am blessed and thankful to have been born here. I hope that everyone has a safe and exceptional holiday!

Dear Snickers, (1999-2012)

Dear Snickers,

I miss you, lots. My heart really feels like it is breaking, I actually feel slight pangs of pain when I think of you. I have spent most of the past days crying my eyes out, especially at specific moments. The house is so quiet. I didn't wake up to you wanting to go out in the middle of the night, or you following my to the kitchen fist thing in the morning to eat. Coming home the day after your passing seemed especially hard because you were not there to great us with you barking, jumping, wagging tail and wanting to be fed your dinner.

I know the last few weeks of your life was hard for you. It was for me too, I know you were not feeling well and hurting, so was I because I had to watch you suffer. I tried everything I could to make you feel better, on the advice of the vet as well as my own research and natural health remedies. Do you know how much it hurt me to see you in such pain? I couldn't bear it.

You were always my baby! At two months old (1999) you walked into my life, this scared and shaking little dog at the pound, looking for a good home. When I saw you, it was love at first sight and a connection so strong. I will never forget the first day I brought you home. When I put you down, you did not dare to move or explore your new environment, without a nudge from me. But when you felt comfortable and knew it was ok, you got into everything. Shoes eaten, food stolen off the counter, taking off and exploring the neighborhood, me worried but you finding your way back home.

Yes, I tried to crate train you, without success. Then tried a baby gate in the kitchen, but to my surprise, I came home and you were waiting for me at the door, tail wagging, full of kisses, and love. Leaving me to wonder how you jumped over the gate without doing damage to your little puppy self. That was a sign for me that this was going to be your place, your home. No, I was not a strict mommy, I saw what was mine as yours and relished in the knowledge that I had you in my life.

Nights, you would sleep next to me on the bed, and I would listen to you breath. As you grew older you went into protective mode and no one could set foot into our apartment without you trying to nip at their ankles and try and let them know "you were boss" and that you would not allow them to hurt me.

Then Ibi came, my future husband to be, you weren't so interested at first, he was invading your space, but he won you over with treats. The three of us grew into a little family, and he learned to live with his first ever dog.

Two years later little Caitlin showed up. I was nervous at first how you would be towards a baby, but you were amazing. Very curious about this new little life that was around all the time, but you loved and protected her always. As she grew older you two formed a bond that even she didn't realize how strong it was until this unfortunate event. I remember her trowing things for you to catch and bring back. I remember her wanting to play tug-o-war with you rope with you, but you were always cautious about how you played with her, because you knew she was a child.

April of 2005 we had our first time seeing you ill and I was afraid I was going to loose you then, because you became deathly ill with GME: only after seeing the specialist, believing you could get better, and lots of love and care for you did you beat the odds. Odds that allowed you to spend the next seven years with us, and helping to grown my love for you even more.

How bright you were Snickers, when I would say "wanna go for a walk" you ran to the back door, or got excited. If I said " Snickers bath?" you would run away and try to hide because you hated water so much. Reminds me of the time when you were puppy and you jumped in a pond, this look on your face when you realized what you had done, I have never seen a dog swim so fast to get out of the water.

Needless to say to you, how heart broken I became over the last few weeks to see you getting sick again. It tore me apart to think we missed the signs and did not get you to a doctor sooner. After you took such a sudden turn for the worse last Saturday night (April 14th), into Sunday morning that we ended up back at the specialist, after what your vet had subscribed did not work. Only to find out that this time around, spending the money to try and save my dog (who was now 12), would not have meant saving you at all. It tore me apart to know that my only option would be to give you your peace and say good bye and that you would never becoming home again.

My only hope is that that day you had some realization of what we were saying to you when we said our goodbyes, that you knew just how much I/we loved you and how hurt I was to have to let you go like that. I did not want to see you suffer anymore. I hope that you felt our presence and comfort in the room.

We received a really nice note from the doctor today in the mail, with your paw prints. There was lots of comfort in that note and we we will frame both the prints, the note and a picture of you.

My dear Snickers, Mommy always loved you so much and I will miss you deeply. I hope that you are doing well, and that you are at peace and out of the misery of your illness. Your spirit is with me always, and I will always keep you close to my heart. Please remember us and know that the love we had for you.

Caitlin and I went for a walk tonight in your honor and we all will cherish the memories we had for you.

So, goodbye and farewell my beloved Snickers! I will miss you always!

Power Outage

We had a power outage last night. A very long one. The power went out around 6:30 p.m. (finally coming back on at 4:00 a.m.), just as, I was finishing cooking our dinner. Yes, we have an electric stove. No gas in our house. It actually was a nice change for us. The usual weeknight chaos of trying to prep for the next day came to a crashing halt and we were forced to connect as a family. We spent a lot of time playing UNO(a game my daughter and I love). We often spend quality time together on the weekends, but due to work and schedules, we never have the opportunity to just relax and enjoy ourselves like we did last night.

I also spent some much needed alone time creating my very first Mondo Beyondo list. A Mondo Beyondo list is of all the dreams that I have. They are dreams that may seem outrageous to others, unbelievable to yourself or perhaps even unattainable. The assignment for the Mondo Beyondo course was to write them down and then seal them up in an envelope. It will be a hoot in the future to see which of them come true.

This class is already changing me and we are beginning to get into the the lessons. I find that not only am I refocusing more on what I really want my life to look like, but am also gaining more confidence that it can be a reality. I feel alive, excited and look forward to the lessons that will hit my mailbox for me to complete. And I want to complete them, I find that I want to challenge myself. I think it is also spilling over into other areas of my life, because I feel more motivated to tackle home projects that, simply seemed dreadful for me. I have this feeling of recreation, not only for myself but for my surroundings. A new since of self expression, or perhaps rediscovering my old one. Either way it is long overdue.

This memorial weekend I will begin with our house painting project. I am in love with the whole Swedish design concept of white walls and colors accented in furniture and accessories. As, we move forward I will document here with pictures.

This is one goal of mine is to start to add more pictures to my posts.

Have a fabulous Memorial Day Weekend for those of you in the U.S. and a great weekend to everyone else as well!

#268 Sunday Scribblings~Better Late Than Never

My better late than never is following my dreams. I wrote about Mondo Beyondo, a course I am currently taking in the previous post.

Dreaming is not for the light-hearted. It takes work, it takes tenacity, it takes getting over your insecurities about you and diving head into really discovering what it is you are dreaming about and making it happen.

I am discovering that there is a definite intention, different from the one to make the dreams a reality, as compared to just living with the dream.
There is something inspiring about focusing on, creating and putting your dreams into action when you are bonding with others doing the same, or when there is potential accountability, not only to yourself but to others that want to share the experience with you.

As we start week one of our class discovering and writing our dream lists, I expect I will see many things creep onto the surface on paper, that will also be a "better late than never" moment.

So with open mind, I will challenge myself to take these moments and turn them into opportunities that will help make all my dreams come true. With a lot of hard work as well.

More Sunday Scribblings here.