Monday, October 26, 2009

Sunday Scribblings~Shame # 186

“A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than yesterday.” ~Johnathan Swift

Shame comes in so many forms. Hiding truths, dishonesty, betrayal. I have shame in the truths I have hidden from others. I am slowly learning to deal with this truths and try and face my shame so I can be open about them, so that I can face them.

I was in an abusive relationship. This is a shame an a truth that not only is hard to face, but carries a great shame. I am not ready to talk about or disclose my shame in this, I am working on it.

On the same token, I do not hold the same shame as much anymore, or so I think, but doesn't shame still exist, if you keep silence and and do not talk about your situation?

I feel shame that I ended up in it, and thought I would react differently to it. The influence of being in this situation, and what I have been told is right and wrong and my decisions has created my ultimate shame!

But I am going to use this shame and become stronger because of it.

See more Shame stories.

Random@ 11:21 on a Monday Night

Well, I find myself here at the computer, wanting to go to sleep. But at the same time, not, because I feel the need to write. To write something worth reading? Perhaps. I have been slacking. BIGTIME! I wanted to start this new blog off with keeping up with Sunday Scribblings, and I haven't. I would really love to know how everyone finds the time in their lives to blog. Me, personally, I feel overwhelmed. By life and time.

There is an honesty streak in me. I feel trapped right now. Going in the wrong direction and taking every path but the one I choose, based on everyone else's decisions but my own. Funny, as I look back not much has changed but in the same moment, a lot has also.

We have drama going on in our family at the moment. A close relative passed and we still manage to have drama. So sad in my eyes. Then there is my cousin, who took his own life last april before his 27th birthday and there is still dram surrounding him; between parents who can't seem to stop blaming one another.

"I know Chase", I get it, enough all ready. I wish I could get through to someone for you and make them realize, that this is part of the reason, you are not with us today.


Anyhow, Sunday is the day where I will actually spend time writing a bit each night, National Novel Writing Mont "BEGINS", I am so excited I cannot wait.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

National Novel Writing Month

Yippie, It's almost here NaNo(National Novel Writing Month. I am so excited!!! Every single year, since October 2006 when I made my first attempt to try it, I did not finish. Actually, I think once I signed up but never even had the chance to start. This year though I have everything mapped out and I am good to go.

I am even reading the book No Plot No Problem-The NaNo Handbook. It has been a great inspiration to me. I am determined to finish this year. It is on my goal list for 2009 and I will be especially excited to cross it off my list as an accomplishment.

I am using this as a way to challenge my inner writer who has been asleep for too many years now. Waking up my muse by completing this is my ultimate goal.