Friday, May 27, 2011

Power Outage

We had a power outage last night. A very long one. The power went out around 6:30 p.m. (finally coming back on at 4:00 a.m.), just as, I was finishing cooking our dinner. Yes, we have an electric stove. No gas in our house. It actually was a nice change for us. The usual weeknight chaos of trying to prep for the next day came to a crashing halt and we were forced to connect as a family. We spent a lot of time playing UNO(a game my daughter and I love). We often spend quality time together on the weekends, but due to work and schedules, we never have the opportunity to just relax and enjoy ourselves like we did last night.

I also spent some much needed alone time creating my very first Mondo Beyondo list. A Mondo Beyondo list is of all the dreams that I have. They are dreams that may seem outrageous to others, unbelievable to yourself or perhaps even unattainable. The assignment for the Mondo Beyondo course was to write them down and then seal them up in an envelope. It will be a hoot in the future to see which of them come true.

This class is already changing me and we are beginning to get into the the lessons. I find that not only am I refocusing more on what I really want my life to look like, but am also gaining more confidence that it can be a reality. I feel alive, excited and look forward to the lessons that will hit my mailbox for me to complete. And I want to complete them, I find that I want to challenge myself. I think it is also spilling over into other areas of my life, because I feel more motivated to tackle home projects that, simply seemed dreadful for me. I have this feeling of recreation, not only for myself but for my surroundings. A new since of self expression, or perhaps rediscovering my old one. Either way it is long overdue.

This memorial weekend I will begin with our house painting project. I am in love with the whole Swedish design concept of white walls and colors accented in furniture and accessories. As, we move forward I will document here with pictures.

This is one goal of mine is to start to add more pictures to my posts.

Have a fabulous Memorial Day Weekend for those of you in the U.S. and a great weekend to everyone else as well!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

#268 Sunday Scribblings~Better Late Than Never

My better late than never is following my dreams. I wrote about Mondo Beyondo, a course I am currently taking in the previous post.

Dreaming is not for the light-hearted. It takes work, it takes tenacity, it takes getting over your insecurities about you and diving head into really discovering what it is you are dreaming about and making it happen.

I am discovering that there is a definite intention, different from the one to make the dreams a reality, as compared to just living with the dream.
There is something inspiring about focusing on, creating and putting your dreams into action when you are bonding with others doing the same, or when there is potential accountability, not only to yourself but to others that want to share the experience with you.

As we start week one of our class discovering and writing our dream lists, I expect I will see many things creep onto the surface on paper, that will also be a "better late than never" moment.

So with open mind, I will challenge myself to take these moments and turn them into opportunities that will help make all my dreams come true. With a lot of hard work as well.

More Sunday Scribblings here.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Mondo Beyondo

"Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable."
— Mary Oliver

Monday I started the Mondo Beyondo online course.
Can I just say, that I am over excited and really happy that I was finally able to get the courage up, to sign up for this class. I feel like a giddy child. I am an avid blog reader (especially crafty blogs). And thought I have never seen myself as an artist in the pen, paper, paint kinda sense, but I love to read artists blogs.

There is an amazing group of soulful women out there that create and who also have amazing blogs. Two of these amazing women are Jen and Andrea who run this online course, to help people discover there dreams and to find was to help them become a reality.

Though, at this point, I do not really know what to expect fully from the course, my mind, heart and soul are completely open to the endless possibilities of fun, discovery and whatever else may happen to trigger within my being. As I proceed to face my dreams, fears, and insecurities through my lessons, I hope that I will take away a new sense of self and put myself of the path to a new life. A life filled with joy, fun, no fear, and love for what I do everyday.

I want to wake up each morning knowing I am happy in my own skin, doing what I love instead of what everyone else thinks I should be doing or becoming.

I will update in this space things going on or lessons learned from Mondo Beyondo in this next five weeks.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Mama's Feeling Fat Again

Seven months ago I was heading towards a divorce(which never came to fruition). I spent many months from the time the decision of divorce was spoken, up until the day it was suppose to happen, sometimes not eating due to stress or simply thinking forward to the future and what I wanted my "person" to look like.
I began a regimen of weight loss and wellness again. Not only because I wanted to feel good about myself, but also because it was something I had been doing hit and miss for awhile and decided that it was time to stick to it. Around the same time I had also started a new job. Needless to say, new stresses came into my life from that alone. Here we are now, seven months later and mama is feeling fat again. All the weight I had loss, is slowly creeping up on me.
How does it make me feel? I know from books I am reading right now, that I should "love myself just the was I am", but the truth is I do not feel so. As a women I think it is so shard to except yourself at "your current weight". For me, going to the store to shop and feel as if nothing fits is stressful and depressing. The aches and pains that have come with gaining weight as I have aged is also hard for me to deal with.
When I had lost the weight, I felt good. Which definitely created a more positive me. So, as I go into this Mother's Day weekend, I am making a pledge to myself to once again focus on sticking to eating right and conscious, except myself as I am, not be so harsh about my weight and work towards releasing it all again.

Thursday, April 21, 2011


“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” ~Winston Churchill

So, I am watching Oprah yesterday and she had movie director Tom Shadyac on. They were discussing his new documentary, I AM! Definitely, a "too see" film. His story leading up to the film is inspirational. After achieving high status in Hollywood with a string of top rated, box office hits, awards, money and living the life of Hollywood glamour, with massive houses and possessions, Shadyac discovers that all he has is not really as fulfilling as he had imagined so he sets out to "find himself" or discover what it is he is really searching for. A near death experience shortly thereafter propels him into really questioning his life, the world around him, what it happening in it and how can we as human beings truly change it. His discoveries and questions the prompted him to make this film are completely inspirational. He sets off with a small crew to travel the world, interview and question prominent people and ask the serious question of "what is wrong with the world we live in and how can we change it?"

I am always in awe of movies like these and love to watch them. I am always soul searching for myself and trying to make myself, my world and everything about it better. I am geared towards spirit and finding it within myself. I love to be inspired and listen to other's stories of their lives; trials, tribulations, joys, etc.

It is said this movie is a "must see". I only hope enough people will go see it, be inspired by it and take action for themselves to question there place in the world and be inspired to make change in the world.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

MFA in Creative Writing

“Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see in the making all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some underculture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals.”
~ Don Delillo (American Novelist born in New York City, b.1926)

I was searching the Internet for different MFA writing programs when I came across a video on site by Adam Penenber, author of the book, SCAD has something they call the Ivy Hall Writer's Series and there are other great video's by author's on the site as well.

Anyhow, his was the perfect motivation for today! In essence he has you question yourself on your desire to write, to believe that you can do it and to take action. This is the only way in which you will truly become a writer and find your voice.

In the last weeks I have been sifting through some of my old writings, revamping them and using them to create new writing ideas. It is the creative process and selection of material to submit, so that I can apply to an MFA program. I am looking at low-residency programs all over the country, since I am not in the position at the moment to pack myself up and move somewhere.

This is for me, a long time coming. I have an undergraduate degree in creative writing and always wanted to pursue my Master's in creative writing as well. Now, I just need to spend the time sifting through all the mounds of information for the schools, their processes for the programs, locations and see which appeal to me the most. Or should I say, which I feel could be the place I could enjoy, and flourish the most.

It is exciting! I am excited. It feels so liberating to put my words down onto paper or into this space again.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Evaluation, Progress & Focus

"Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." ~Usman B. Asif

So yesterday I talked about my reflections over the last months, weeks and days. Writing the post and re-reading what I wrote, was a real eye opener for me. Reflection has turned into evaluation and heading towards what my focus is and should be.

Sorting through my thoughts today, I actually began to make a list of "to do's." And it really was not as scary as I thought it potentially might be. Ok, granted due to procrastination, dishonesty with myself and pure fear, my list was longer than I had expected it to be. Only instead of being as daunting as I though it might be, it was actually a relief to see it written out on paper.

I packed up almost all of the library books I had out that are not related to what I need to concentrate on and am returning the make room for the books I need to read, to be read. I am beginning to clear the clutter from my workspace to make a fresh, inviting and positive environment to retreat to when it is time for me to work. I am also setting up the space with inspirational items, trinkets and other things that will keep me motivated and focused on the goal.

Next step, I need to tackle one item at a time on my list and go. Tonight, I am starting by posting this and using my techie skills to download much need (like yesterday) software onto my computer.

Part of me is thinking I should take baby steps, but the reality is I have wasted enough time, so I am diving in full force and creating results immediately.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Sunday Scribblings #248~Progress

If it is to be, It is up to me.
- William H. Johnson

Happy New Year everyone!

First prompt of 2011, "progress".

I have spent the last few days reading more and will be finished with two books by tomorrow. Book one: Get Off Your "But": How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself and Book 2: Devotion of Suspect X.

I have started juicing again. So every morning I am back to drinking a green juice. It feels so good to have that energy boost again. I also added a new green to my juice this morning and used broccoli.

The above two were from my Manifesto that I posted on last weeks Sunday Scribblings.

I have also added to the list I have created for myself.

This year I need to add to the vision/dream/creative inspiration board I created last year. It looks awful bare and needs a lot of love and attention.

I also want to be more artistic. So, I am going to take classes as well as try some new things on my own.

On the 31st I bought myself a spanking new journal, with nice crisp, lined pages. I have been waking up before everyone else and doing my morning pages from the book The Artist's Way (I attempted last year and never completed).

I also purchased a new sketch book and opened a few books on my shelf that were given to me as gifts and have never worked with. SARK's: Make Your Creative Dreams Real: A Plan for Procrastinators, Perfectionists, Busy People, and People Who Would Really Rather Sleep All Day and 52 Projects : Random Acts of Everyday Creativity

Progress feels good. It is even inspires me to delve deeper and keep the momentum of the progress I am making.

I wish everyone success in the progress they are choosing for in their lives. All the best in 2011.