Friday, May 6, 2011

Mama's Feeling Fat Again

Seven months ago I was heading towards a divorce(which never came to fruition). I spent many months from the time the decision of divorce was spoken, up until the day it was suppose to happen, sometimes not eating due to stress or simply thinking forward to the future and what I wanted my "person" to look like.
I began a regimen of weight loss and wellness again. Not only because I wanted to feel good about myself, but also because it was something I had been doing hit and miss for awhile and decided that it was time to stick to it. Around the same time I had also started a new job. Needless to say, new stresses came into my life from that alone. Here we are now, seven months later and mama is feeling fat again. All the weight I had loss, is slowly creeping up on me.
How does it make me feel? I know from books I am reading right now, that I should "love myself just the was I am", but the truth is I do not feel so. As a women I think it is so shard to except yourself at "your current weight". For me, going to the store to shop and feel as if nothing fits is stressful and depressing. The aches and pains that have come with gaining weight as I have aged is also hard for me to deal with.
When I had lost the weight, I felt good. Which definitely created a more positive me. So, as I go into this Mother's Day weekend, I am making a pledge to myself to once again focus on sticking to eating right and conscious, except myself as I am, not be so harsh about my weight and work towards releasing it all again.

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